Seriously, I'm Lazy!

I can't imagine there is any excuse for me to have waited this long to post to my blog. The only thing I can offer is I am lazy. Life seems to have swept me along for the past six months. Just a simple update for all those who might have an interest or have a recollection of who I even am. In August, I landed the perfect job and a fabulous school teaching with some amazing women. At first, I thought I would be teaching first grade. I, however, found my way to third grade. Granted after the initial shock of eight year olds, I totally fell in love with the assignment. DH (I need to figure out a cool nick for him) went back to working nights. At first I was so upset about the change, but now we have settled into the rhythm of his and my schedule and everyone seems copacetic with it. Besides that.... life keeps moving forward. Oh...I have also taken up writing another blog. I know there is a few of you out there that might be rolling your eyes thinking, "how could I possibly keep up with another blog when I don't even attempt to stay current on this one?" Well, in all honesty, I am not sure if I will but I can only try my best. The other one can be found under my profile and it's really a blog about my kids and the relationship I am building with them. I look forward to getting back into reading all the fabulous blogs I used to keep up with. I need a hobby and it seems like blogging is available.

"hmmmm......((what to say next))"

This is what I was presented with earlier today. I usually never lack in the word department. I was on the phone with one of my dearest friends and there we were faced with the knowledge that neither knew how to proceed in the conversation. I wanted the words to make her feel better and she sensing how uncomfortable I had become, she quickly said "I have to go!" I put down the phone almost in a panic. No one wants their friend to struggle. I felt silly knowing that just the night before I was sitting on the couch listening to ABBA because I was in a funk. My funk is so far removed from the depression that paralysis and renders one immobile to move forward with the rhythm of life. No sooner had the phone settled into it's cradle that I yelled to both of my girls to get on their clothes and put on their shoes. I struggled in the car trying to figure out how to show up at my friends house and not make the situation worse. What I forgot is that friendship transcends answering the door in your pjs, showing up uninvited to offer a hug, and neglecting to brush your children's hair before leaving home. It means being there to just talk. It means sometimes bringing up things that might be too difficult to think about on your own. I stated earlier that being in a funk and depression are far different. Friendship however is always the same. True friends will challenge you past those dark moments in your life when you feel so alone.

By request...I will once again blog.

I am sitting on my couch pondering what I can tell everyone that will be of interest. Lately things have been so hectic. We traveled to Indonesia and back. Some might be wondering where are the pictures. It is my intention to post them soon. However, soon is a relative term and since I will be starting my summer institute in a week...I am not too sure how soon figures into the time frame of my chaotic life. I really enjoyed my time in Indonesia. It was my first time out of the country and I truly spent my time there enjoying every aspect of my visit. As I post pictures I will write up some reflections. I am currently waiting to find out how I did on my state teacher exam. I completed the main one with ease but I keep on questioning myself on the latest supplemental one. My friend Tammy tells me to stop. She reminded me that I already submitted it so no sense doing the could have...would have...should have thing. I am also waiting to hear back about a job. It all sort of rests on this test and my scores and the interviews I went to. In other news, I have been focusing more on who I am as a Muslim. I wanted to come back from Indonesia with a sense of renewal. It didn't really happen. However, after I returned, I started looking at my girls and seeing how the time has been racing forward and I was seized with a kind of fear that I am not cultivating my family as far as the deen is concerned. I have lapsed in so many things as far as their Islamic education. I will try to utilize this blog to sort of "talk" all these things out. Maybe ya'll will have some saged words of advice.

I will sew today!

I feel the itch today. I will post my attempts later this afternoon!

Creativity!

My daughter's spring-break-away-from-home-bedroom-makeover! I had so much fun decorating this room while she was gone!

1st picture is a small painting I did on the wall. If you look really close you will see two small shelves I added to the wall. I painted them to give them the illusion they were part of the wall. I had these in my craft cabinet for about a year. They are actually wooden bookends I never got around to painting. Also all the cute lil creatures I got at Micheal's for 59 cents each.

2nd picture is the white table I got from IKEA about 3 years ago. I went out and bought a shelf at home depot for about 15.00 including hardware and brackets. The pails on the shelf I got at the Dollar Tree. They are originally hallmark and were marked at 6.95 a piece.

3rd picture is the bed. We got that a few years back at a garage sale. It was actually the top of a bunk bed but we stripped it and painted it white. I got the bed for 5.00. The bedspread is from IKEA and we have had it for a long time. It has dragon flies...what better to use for our bug room! I also painted a dragonfly above the bed and used some old chalkboard paint I had from the garage to paint the chalk board on the back of her wall.

4th picture is our storage area. The bookshelf I picked up at a garage sale for seven dollars. I bought the buckets you see for 99 cents at the 99 cent store. I also put an old pair of Hana's rain boots on the top to hold flowers and wooden face masks. The boots act as really great book ends. The rug I picked up at target for 9.99 I also have a wooden house and gazeebo I bought at hobby lobby on sale. I am in the process of painting the house. It's a slow process. Inside the house are some really cute peg people I painted.

The only thing that is not show in the picture is I ran a small clothesline on the wall under the shelf with cute little clothespins I got at IKEA a few years back. Now the girls hang all their art work for everyone to see!

Please leave a comment or suggestion! :)

Is dailylight savings time messing with you?

I have been feeling terrible since Saturday. I took a three hour nap in the middle of the afternoon today, almost didn't make it in time to pick up dd #1, and am incredibly greatful my dd #2 didn't tear the house apart while I was napping. This is the one time I am going to say "Thank God" for TV. Wait I'm not done...I still have to rant. It has been absolutely beautiful the last few days. Problem is I want to be outside working in the garden. This can not happen since it's like a swamp in our backyard since the rain and slight snowfall last week. I don't feel up to making mudpies...although I know dd #2 would love it! I don't know why I am all disgruntled...I am going to blame it on hormones but I always have this fear it is something else. Do any of ya'll ever have the "OMG what if I have cancer and given only a few months to live" irrational thing going on inside your head. Ever since I was in High School I have these feelings off and on that death is immenent. OK...now I know most of ya'll are thinking..."huh? she's a bit out there!" I contend however that I am completely sane. I just worry a lot. I honestly believe it is hereditary...my Grandmother was a tour de force when it came to worry. I guess by making such wild statements I am really saying "am I really doing what I am supposed to be with my life." Now I want to make this disclaimer before you continue reading because in no way am I writing the following because I am questioning my decision to become a Muslim but I have been thinking about where I came from with my Christian upbringing lately. When I was 12 years old I started attending a Southern Baptist church. This sent my pentacostal mother in a talespin. Forever after that I was labeled the black sheep of the family. I was saved at 12 and I remember feeling a calling to the ministry soon after. I was about to enter a seminary when I reverted to Islam. So I often think back that moment when I felt I was being called by God to do something. I don't want to dismiss that feeling...I don't know maybe I should *shrug*. But the fact is that I feel most of my life I have been running from what I should be doing. I feel that until I am doing it I will never feel comfortable with my situation. Now granted at this point I would understand if some of you that are reading this suggested counseling, but I really just want someone else to say they can relate.

"Girls Day Out" and other "Random Thoughts"

My dear friend from college has been trying to get me to go out for lunch for months. I finally told husband I was taking the afternoon for an outing. So we started with lunch at La Madelines. It was my first trip and I was loving it. They have the most scrumptious tomato soup. We then proceeded to hit the office supply stores. There is something about the disfunctional relationship between teachers and office supplies. After exhausting ourself there we went to the Container store, followed by a teacher's store, and ended up at the craft store Micheals. Before we reached our final destination, I was doing really well with the pocketbook. Things changed at Micheals. I ended up carrying out several pens, papers, stamps, and a cute scrapbooking caddy that I will use to put all my supplies in on the days I substitute teach. My friend and I had a great day and I came home energized. Upon my arrival at home, my husband and daughter bombarded me with questions about where their next meal was going to come from. I offered to take everyone out for kabobs but hubby said it was too pricy and told me to go and get some tacos. So no sooner did I arrive home that I had to jump back in the car and go on a food run. I was delayed by a train that was unusually long. I thought it a good opportunity to do some people watching. The girl in the car behind me was visably annoyed by the train. The police officer to the front right of me seemed to enjoy the trains passing. I was a bit conflicted at first. I wanted it to be a short train so I could be on my way. This impatience slowly changed upon observing the girl behind me. Due to her annoyance she finally picked up her cell phone and was very dramatic in her facial expressions as she told the person on the other line about her having to wait on the train. I began to wonder if people were looking at my expressions to guage what I was feeling. I finally decided to enjoy the cars as they moved down the track. I found all the grafitti to be quite interesting. I wondered what stories the train could tell if it could just speak. Where was it going and from where had it come? Did the conductor enjoy his travels? It truly brought a smile to his face as he leaned out of the engine and waved at the policeman sitting in his cruiser. In that moment did the child in both of them long for the adventures of the other? In all honesty, I was saddened as the last car rounded the final curve. The presence of the train in my life caused everything to stop. I was forced to sit there and wait. There was no where else to go. I could have drowned out the experience with my radio or felt compelled to pick up something to read. I opted to stay in the moment and experience it. I forced myself to look at those around me in an attempt to understand something of myself.